It occurred to me today that if anyone else was looking in on my team eating lunch, they would have either thought that our relationship was weird or would have been outraged by the level of personal conversations taking place on every topic imaginable.
We have gone through periods where we have been very close to our team, and other times where we have been burned once too often and have set up structures to ensure that we don't discuss anything other than work and the mandatory "what I did on the weekend" conversations.
For kicks, today we chatted about the things we liked about each other. Instead of being what most people say, it was deep...very deep. For instance, one person said that they liked how everyone including management have each other's back and they had never experienced that before. Another said that our team was their family, and I was like their Mom.
While leaders are meant to inspire and that definitely was a common thread, we try and get real with our team and have conversations that may be uncomfortable but act as a release. One lovely employee talked about how bullying at high school affected her even now. Another about the issues associated with coming to terms with their sexual preferences. I talked about my desire to have a family by myself through IVF and how my dog dying is going to be worse than anything else I have experienced.
Tears often well in our eyes when we go through something deep and personal but it is by choice that these conversations occur, not because a consultant has come in and asked us to "share".
Some would say it's too much, other's would say it's refreshing. Who is right and who is wrong? Only time will tell.
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